We, the United States of America, your top-quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service.
The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located and the software responsible was replaced on November 4, 2008.
Early tests of the newly-installed program indicate we are now operating correctly and are fully-functional as of January 20, 2009.
We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to providing full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding.
The United States Of America
(A friend sent this to me. I haven’t yet found its source. If you know it, please let me know.)